Community Post: 7 Celebrities Who Shouldn’t Release Their Own Fragrance

1. Lindsay Lohan

Likely described as “a carnal blend of cigarettes and desperation”, a Lindsay Lohan fragrance would capture her string of bad decisions. Open with whiffs of smoky pepper and hints of a DUI.

2. Kanye West

A fragrance surely milked from the humble rapper’s own bodily fluids, Yeezus would bathe in it, baptise his baby in it, and attempt to use its pungently self-indulgent potency to part seas of paparazzi. Like Khloe and Lamar’s Unbreakable Love (about that…), the prospect of a ‘Kimye’ fragrance, considering Kim and Kanye’s latest film clip, is almost impossible to stomach.

3. Charlie Sheen

Charlie’s cologne would be an aggressive fragrance with solid notes of citrus, nuances of smoky leather and the metallic aroma of tiger blood. Inspired by the archaic actor’s bizarre rant, the concoction would also contain faint traces of cocaine bricks.

4. Courtney Stodden

This opulent composition would consist of cranberry musk, floral-fruity nuances and plastic. The garish-looking bottle shaped like her signature 10-inch heels would be enough to turn us off, but we’re sure it’d do wonders wooing the over-50 crowd.

5. Matthew McConaughey

Anyone whose name features in a list titled “Top 10 celebrities who look like they smell bad” has no place in the fragrance market. Matthew McConaughey proudly expresses his lack of deodorant usage and limited bathing schedule. If a McConaughey-inspired scent were to somehow become reality, you might expect a stale tang with undertones of sweat and unwashed clothes.

6. Olivier Martinez

Martinez’s history with women is as rich as the scent of his signature fragrance. Martinez’s habitual greed for many different women inspires a scent titled “Gluttony”, which contains hints of cedarwood with a base composed mostly of lies.

7. Miley Cyrus

The theory behind why Miley hasn’t brought out a perfume is that her new image evokes an awkward discomfort that cannot be successfully captured in a bottle. If it existed, the cocktail of scents would probably include animalistic leather notes, stripper sweat and the coarse aroma of a repressed childhood.

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