The Anatomy Of A Popular Teenage Girl
In short, blonde hair and Starbucks = “OMG she’s just like a nice Regina George!”
1. We’ll work our way up from the toe.
From those pretty toes.
2. No doubt she’s got a perfect pedicure.
(And probably a toe ring).
3. She probably gave in to the whole ankle tattoo fad in 2009.
It’s more than likely a butterfly, a heart, or a cross.
4. And she’s either got really thin legs…
Complete with a thigh gap.
5. Or really curvy legs.
Because popular girls can get away with either.
6. But regardless of what type of legs she has…
She got a perfect booty, boo.
7. “Ooh, won’t it be so fun to get matching hip tats?”
Trust me, after spring break, they are worth nothing.
8. And belly button rings galorrrrrreeeee.
She probably got it at 13 after she got a puppy and a new motorbike.
9. She’s definitely got toned abs.
10. And obviously she has perfect boobs.
Not a pornstar, not a 9-year-old boy…
11. WHY CAN’T MY BOOBS BE LIKE THAT
My cries speak for all of you out there.
12. Moving on, they’ve got a matching mani-pedi…
13. And a wrist tattoo.
Because all tumblr girls have wrist tattoos.Don’t get me wrong, if they’re meaningful, they’re nice… but if not?No.
14. Their elbows never look like crocodile skin.
Like little angels.Except they’re joints.
15. And they’ve got tanned, toned arms.
16. Little rounded, feminine, soft shoulders and collarbones.
The envy is deadly.
17. A slender neck with little tribal sayings on their feather necklaces.
“This makes us look cultured!”
18. An acne-free face
It’s like oil is too lame to enter her exclusive pores.“Not on the guest list.”
19. A button nose;
20. Full lips;
21. Long eyelashes;
22. And blonde hair long enough to reach that perfect booty.
23. Jimmy Choos
“MOM! No one is going to take me seriously in high school if I don’t wear 5 inch heels!”
24. Circulation-cutting dark-wash pre-cut skinny jeans…
Because every girl is wearing them.Even if they are $40 for a children’s size 12-14 at Kohls.*cough*
25. Cccccccrrrrrooooooppppp Tttttttooooooppppppsssss.
BOO BOO. YOU ARE NOT A GEEK IF YOU WEAR THIS.Why are these a thing? I mean, you’re charging us more for less of a shirt. What?
26. And don’t forget the pretty bracelets.
I don’t know about you guys, but I really. HATE. Infinity. Bracelets.
27. No teenage girl can be popular without Eos.
I mean, that just a fact. Given, they’re pretty cute, but it’s like you’re rubbing a weird little egg on your lips and I’m a vegan, so…
28. Or volumizing mascara.
29. Or highlights.
Whether they be platinum blonde, pink, purple, etc…By the way hair chalking can seriously damage your locks, so be careful, tumblr girls.
30. An iPhone, obviously.
31. And the popular badge of honor—
The Starbucks Frappuccino.
32. So basically, this is a popular teenage girl these days.
34. I’m sad for my generation.